Just the other day, the job interviewer asked me, “What do you want to be in life? Without even giving it a thought, I said “I want to be happy.” A few seconds later, it occurred to me that was not the question that he meant. I felt foolish and stammered, “Ouh, uhh, I want to be…” and more foolishly I didn’t have an answer. It’s a well known fact that we humans are always looking for happiness. We wish that someone just walks in and makes us happy, makes us laugh. We wish that something happens the way we want and we feel content.
I came back home and thought to myself, why don’t we take charge of our own happiness? What’s so difficult about it that we have to depend on other people and other things for it to happen? It’s very sad that most of our generation is really astray and still looking for things they themselves don’t seem to define. “What do you want to do?” – I don’t know; where do you want to go? – I don’t know; what do you want to become? – Umm, I don’t know!
When I say, “Take charge of your happiness” one starts with full enthusiasm and goes for it. You suddenly wake up and decide, “Let’s get happy!” Alas! That’s not how it works.
For example, Day 1, you start reviving your old hobbies, you feel good about it. Day 2, you start eating healthy food. Day 3 you start socializing and find yourself laugh at the lamest things. You come back home and think to yourself, “Oh it was a boring party.” Then again think to yourself, “Oh no, I have to make myself happy, that was a good party!” Paste a smile on your face and go to sleep.
No Secret Formulae
This is the problem when you believe what people like us write. The problem is when you try to equate happiness with the ideologies of the world. There are no specific formulae for happiness, but there is one for pretence. Pretence of loving things those are in; laughing at things that other people find funny; wearing clothes that make us one of the other people. In the above example, you are trying to find happiness in little things. That, with age might have stopped giving you happiness. Obviously, we are growing creatures and a small tinging toy will not necessarily make you laugh and clap hands like it did when you were three years old. But you’ve got to find YOUR 25 year old toy!
Hence, the first step towards being a happy soul is accepting who you are. You need to identify and believe in the things that make you happy. If updating a status on Facebook makes you happy, go ahead do it. If not opening Facebook for a week makes you at peace, do it. It’s not about the trend. You won’t be left out if you’re not a naturally a social person. Happiness starts to run away from you the moment you start defining yourself as somebody else. People say you should never settle for someone who is less than what you’ve wanted. The sad part being, we ourselves settle for the inferior version of us. We analyze the outer scenario and paint ourselves to “fit in”. The minute “fitting” in comes into picture, comfort leaves taking along with it happiness.
So today, instead of looking for happiness look for yourself. Find the person you are, naked and truthful, to yourself and to the world. Find and accept. Only then will you take a step in attracting happy things towards you. Stop being driven by the generation ideals and trends. Be a 60s person in the twentieth century, or be a person from the other planet! Write letters if you must, also play video games if you must. But please, stop analyzing too much. Just do things. Do them if you must.
Identify. Identify your soul.
About the author
Bansri Sanghvi is an aspiring designer, artist, writer and a secret mind-reader with a thing for dogs. She takes expression seriously and doesn’t believe in small talk. She could be called mad as she day dreams invariably and is passionate about laughing.